Highly enhanced photo taken at Newport, Rhode Island’s First beach.
How does your marketing department cut through the clutter and engage the sales organization? Today I’m announcing a great new feature for your CRM application: DroneForce, the drone delivery of leads.
Today’s challenge for the marketing department isn’t just generating leads. Using tools like Marketo, Pardot, etc., any competent marketing team can generate hundreds and hundreds of leads each and every day. And many do.
Yet, according to my friends at HubSpot, the typical sales person throws away nine out of ten leads given to him by the hard working marketing department.
The real challenge is how to get the sales team to take these great leads we’re generating and actually follow-up on them.
Sales People Are Special
Let’s face it — when we say “the sales team is from a different gene pool,” we’re talking about Neanderthals. Or perhaps that’s even unfair to our prehistoric cousins.
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, one CMO told me recently that he has resorted to giving out candy and beer to his sales team to get them to listen about the resources he has created for them.
“The problem with our sales department is that they have such a short attention span, they often just forget about the leads we’re sending them.”
Rise Of The DroneForce
Once enabled, DroneForce™ will solve all of these challenges. Using the same drone technology that has made our wars in Afghanistan and Pakistan so successful, our solution dispatches a fleet of drones from your corporate headquarters to deliver leads in real time to your sales team, no matter where they are.
There are a number of features that can be configured by your CRM administrator:
- GPS tracking of sales reps via mobile phone; this enables the drones to deliver leads at the coffee shop, McDonalds or any strip club where the sales team is working.
- Lead follow-up request; the drone will stay and hover until the sales rep actually makes a call and follows up on the lead. We’re still working on the partnership with TASER International that will shock the sales rep every thirty to ninety seconds if they’re not following up on the lead.
But Wait, There’s More
Now that we’ve launched DroneForce™, we’ve started a top secret program that will reverse the lead-generation paradigm as we know it. Our as-yet-unnamed product will dispatch drones directly to prospects, and hover until the prospect calls our sales team. I suspect that our conversion ratio will skyrocket, once we work out the kinks.
This blog was originally posted on April 1st, 2014. Happy April Fool’s Day! If you’d like to see my other April Fool’s Day blog posts, feel free to learn how to use salesforce.com on your Google Glass, read about the time I bought a fictitious Italian software company focused on bringing Facebook and Twitter to the 3270 crowd, or gather new CRM insights from the life and times of Lindsay Lohan.
It’s an electronic, rock, vocal mix of songs that really catch me. The song Birth in Reverse, is a bouncy dance track, littered with mini-guitar solos and electronic fuzz, and it’s about … well, who knows what:
Like a birth in reverse
What I saw through the blinds
You could say that I’m saying phenomenal lies
On the cosmic eternity party line
Was a birth in reverse in America
But it’s as catchy as hell.
For more about St Vincent, check out Sasha Frere-Jones’s piece in the New Yorker, or take a listen yourself:
All of these memories came back to me about playing catch, football and hockey with my Dad. Even though I never think of my childhood as that athletic, I guess we did do a lot of family sports.
These are all great, happy memories that somehow I left out of my Father’s Day write up.
Now I’m looking forward to creating more happy memories.
Reading my old journal from 2003 – 2005 this evening, and I came across an entry that commented on how bad the band Yes, was.
Thanks to Spotify, I could fire up Owner Of A Lonely Heart and Roundabout and take a fresh listen… and I was pleasantly surprised. I’m not going to “star” the songs on Spotify, but certainly better than I thought.
The Strokes are stuck in my head again this morning, and mostly Welcome to Japan.
I didn’t want to notice
Didn’t know the gun was loaded
Didn’t really know this
What kind of asshole drives a Lotus?
Wow. An acoustic and somewhat country version of OutKast’s “Hey Ya!” which is pretty good. Definitely worth a listen.
Somehow in conversation today, my ASCII version of Facebook popped up…