The Spy Who Loved His iWatch

Caught a bit of the James Bond film The Spy Who Loved Me this morning at the gym. This must have been the first James Bond movie I saw in the theaters, and boy does it make 1977 look like a long time ago.

A few funny bits jumped out at me:

James Bond’s Smart Watch

With the Apple iWatch announcement coming up right around the corner, who was wearing an early prototype? That’s right, good old 007. In his case, a good old Seiko digital watch that somehow was able to print out (in all capital letters) messages from the M5.
photo 1

Smoking on Submarines?

Perhaps it was just an oversight on the part of the director — like the part where they were talking about the oil in Egypt — but these sailors were smoking on a British Sub. Surely that was never allowed, right?

photo 2

Analog Switches Galore!

The movie tries to make everything look so super high tech by putting lots of nobs, dials and buttons on all sorts of machines. Here we are blowing up a helicopter with the push of a button:

photo 3

I’m looking forward to seeing the rest!

DroneForce™: Lead Delivery Via Drone, The Best Way To Ensure Lead Follow-Up

How does your marketing department cut through the clutter and engage the sales organization? Today I’m announcing a great new feature for your CRM application: DroneForce, the drone delivery of leads.

Today’s challenge for the marketing department isn’t just generating leads. Using tools like Marketo, Pardot, etc., any competent marketing team can generate hundreds and hundreds of leads each and every day. And many do.

Yet, according to my friends at HubSpot, the typical sales person throws away nine out of ten leads given to him by the hard working marketing department.

The real challenge is how to get the sales team to take these great leads we’re generating and actually follow-up on them.

Sales People Are Special

Let’s face it — when we say “the sales team is from a different gene pool,” we’re talking about Neanderthals. Or perhaps that’s even unfair to our prehistoric cousins.

Speaking on the condition of anonymity, one CMO told me recently that he has resorted to giving out candy and beer to his sales team to get them to listen about the resources he has created for them.

“The problem with our sales department is that they have such a short attention span, they often just forget about the leads we’re sending them.”

Rise Of The DroneForce

Once enabled, DroneForce™ will solve all of these challenges. Using the same drone technology that has made our wars in Afghanistan and Pakistan so successful, our solution dispatches a fleet of drones from your corporate headquarters to deliver leads in real time to your sales team, no matter where they are.

There are a number of features that can be configured by your CRM administrator:

  • GPS tracking of sales reps via mobile phone; this enables the drones to deliver leads at the coffee shop, McDonalds or any strip club where the sales team is working.
  • Lead follow-up request; the drone will stay and hover until the sales rep actually makes a call and follows up on the lead. We’re still working on the partnership with TASER International that will shock the sales rep every thirty to ninety seconds if they’re not following up on the lead.

But Wait, There’s More

Now that we’ve launched DroneForce™, we’ve started a top secret program that will reverse the lead-generation paradigm as we know it. Our as-yet-unnamed product will dispatch drones directly to prospects, and hover until the prospect calls our sales team. I suspect that our conversion ratio will skyrocket, once we work out the kinks.

This blog was originally posted on April 1st, 2014. Happy April Fool’s Day! If you’d like to see my other April Fool’s Day blog posts, feel free to learn how to use salesforce.com on your Google Glass, read about the time I bought a fictitious Italian software company focused on bringing Facebook and Twitter to the 3270 crowd, or gather new CRM insights from the life and times of Lindsay Lohan.

15 Signs You’re Too Into Salesforce

I’m a big fan of salesforce.com.  My company, Cloud Sherpas, is one of its biggest partners, sporting over 260 Salesforce-certified consultants (and we’re looking for many, many more — see our job listings). Plus we’re tops in customer satisfaction and a salesforce.com platinum-level partner on three continents.

But we’ve noticed a few signs that some of our friends, colleagues and associates in the greater “Salesforce ecosystem” might be a bit too into salesforce.com.

How can you tell? With help from my colleagues at Cloud Sherpas — and a nod to BuzzFeed — here are 15 top warning signs:

1. Your Facebook picture is you and SaaSy or Chatty

J Nicole Alford

(Looking good, J Nicole Alford!)

2. You name your new child Summer 13

summer 13

3. You complain about “how they’ve made the DEV401 exam too easy”

(OR you complain that “the dev exam has too many questions the same as admin” and you really wish they had made it harder)

OR

dev 401 questions

4. You only communicate with your family on Chatter

mom looking at opportunities

5. You insist that all meetings start with an intro from will.i.am

lets get this forecast meeting started right

6. Speaking of will.i.am, you’re still raving about Salesforce’s Super Bowl ad from 2011

7. Your friends are tired of hearing how many tequila shots you did with “Frank”

shots

8. You’ve DVR’d all of Marc’s appearances on Mad Moneythis is going to be amazing jim

9. You’ve been overheard at a bar arguing about governor limits or the benefits of multi-tenancy

private cloud

10. You plan your vacation each year in San Francisco just in time for Dreamforce

dreamforce vacation

11. “Amazing” is your favorite word

amazing

12. You hang out at One Market hoping to run into Salesforce execs

salesfoce executives

13. You haven’t been grocery shopping for a month because you have eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner on customer tour

eat at customer tour

14. Everything, everything seems to be about Salesforce or their products

wiped data from data dot com

15. You write a blog post about being too into Salesforce

write a blog post about being too into Salesforce

and a late breaking sign via Steven Herod:

16. You create memes like this

doesnt run unit tests

(Many thanks to Mary Youngs, Misty Sutton, Michael Thomas, Rob Morris and Minesh Patel for their help on this.)

If you have more “signs” please let me know!

How To Use Salesforce.com With Your Google Glass

You’ve seen the Glass concept videos, you’ve read the amazing hands-on reports, but how exactly is Google’s augmented reality system going to work with salesforce.com?

Google of course has a close relationship with salesforce.com, so a little digging into the code behind the Google Glass reveals some pre-built integration with some features that are frankly amazing. Thanks to a source close to the Glass project I’m excited to show you what past generations of sales people would consider magic:

1) Facial recognition of contacts

glass who is that

When properly linked together your Google Glass and salesforce.com can be used to pull up contact profiles by matching the photo stored in Salesforce with the person that you’re seeing.

2) Activity creation

As almost all sales people hate entering activities into any CRM system, Google Glass has a special feature which will watch you as you go through your various daily appointments in your Google Calendar and log the proper activities automatically in Salesforce.

The next release will have a feature to mark certain activities as “private” so they don’t get automatically created as activities, but in the meanwhile be mindful of what you’re doing while wearing Google Glass.

3) Sales coaching

For a small monthly fee, sales managers can now directly observe and record the sales calls that their teams go on. No more flying to Indianapolis for that sales call just to watch Joe Salesman pitch a client. Now sales managers can provide feedback both after the call has ended or in real time!

I’m sure as time goes on we will find many more uses for the integration between these two great products.

Learn More

Adam is a senior vice president at Cloud Sherpas, one of the world’s leading Cloud Solutions Providers.

We help businesses maximize their CRM returns by identifying desired business goals, finding the right tools and technology for the job, and delivering rapid implementations that remain focused on achieving your desired business capabilities.

(This blog was originally posted on April 1st, 2013. Happy April Fool’s Day!)

An Irreverent Haggadah

shmeggeggy haggadah

If you’re looking for a slightly off-beat and hopefully funny Haggadah, which should have a running time of about 15 minutes you’ve come to the right place.

Loosely based on the Maxwell House Haggadah of my youth, the Shmeggeggy Haggadah tells the story of the Exodus from Egypt in a ‘roundabout and allegorical manner’.

You can download it here: https://www.box.com/s/7kzeaswv7koc0n8gokus

Somehow I doubt the Obamas will be using it this year.